Parents, Dreaded Parents
Friday, May 25th, 2007Parents – the only threat more serious to the Gamer than the expectations of class, and the only beings capable of inducing more shame than our peers. This is for the age-old question of whether to move out and suffer the hardships of broke living, or stay at home and bear the incessant nagging from which there is no escape. This is the Secret Life of the College Gamer.
Parents represent the chink in our armor. No one views the Gamer lifestyle with more disgust than those who tend to foot the bill. Reminders about who’s roof we live under and threats of being “cut off” are enough to bring even the most dedicated Gamer down. The only plausible defense is to get a job, but I’ve already addressed that challenge in my second issue, Will Game for Food. Let’s face it, unless the beggar business is booming, money for a college gamer is harder to find than chicks that play Counter-Strike (if you are a chick who plays Counter-Strike and I have offended you then please email me ASAP for a heartfelt, personal apology).
Take, for example, the time I tried to explain to my parents that by playing 14 hours of video games a day, I was in fact NOT wasting my life away… I was conducting valuable research towards an extremely lucrative future career. My father openly laughed in my face while my mom sat open-mouthed and silent with a look of terrified bewilderment on her face. About an hour later, after dad stopped laughing, I told them I was serious. This resulted in both of them laughing and a two week period of my friends asking me why I was being so emo.
