Will Game For Food
April 25th, 2007 by Guest Contributor Matt JohansonThe need to eat and the need to game - in the mind of a gamer, these two basic requirements of life constantly compete for attention, often with disasterous results. This is for the times you wish you could enter the world of San Andreas if, for no other reason, than to order a Cluckin’ Huge Meal at Cluckin’ Bell. This is the Secret Life of the College Gamer.
Contrary to the stereotype of wastefulness, the Gamer is extremely wise when it comes to money. Who else can so skillfully balance the need to game with the mere act of staying alive? Money is conserved by never going out, not buying toiletries, and, of course, purposely not getting a girlfriend. Sadly, this is nothing more than petty cash compared to what the Gamer must spend. New consoles and constant computer upgrades deplete our budgets faster than a 40-ounce in Lindsey Lohan’s sweet little fingers.
With a lifestyle that promotes little or no work ethic, a lack of funds can really bring a Gamer down. So fear not Gamers! Let’s discover how we can put a few greenbacks back into the bank.
When a normal student or child in a third world country needs money they get a job. This seems fine and dandy but be wary when it comes to work. A job takes away from precious game time and, in most cases, forces you to wake up before noon. By now the red flags should be popping up all over the place. True, all that hard work and effort nets you a paycheck, but let’s face it - that five hundred dollars will last you mere minutes at your next Gamestop visit. To make matters worse you won’t even be able to really enjoy your newly acquired good because… you guessed it… you have to work!
Though a true Gamer never relinquishes the belief that there are better ways to survive than by working, if you truly must get a job then take the time to pick a more compatible work environment. Find a job that still allows you to improve as a Gamer. In the computer lab or library you can still surf the web all day or sneak in a few hours of CS.
Another quality to look for in a job is how much actual “work” you must do. The more time you actually spend working, the less energy you’ll have to game when you get home! Especially when your dinner consists of Top Raman… again. Remember - a true Gamer will carefully weigh the estimated working-to-slacking ratio before agreeing to take any job they are offered.
While traditional employment methods may be bearable, if only just, they simply aren’t meant for everyone. In times of need the Gamer must rely on more creative ways of earning dough.
Ever walked down the street and seen a beggar with a hat by their feet playing guitar? A revolution is needed in the begging industry. Instead of a musical instrument, one might set up a television with a console or bust their computer out on the street. If people will drop change for some sap who can barely strum a tune, why wouldn’t they part with some shiny to the sweet display of pure ownage? Think of the possibilities! Receive money while you hone your vast skills! The Gamer’s Holy Grail and all you need is an outlet and an extension cord.
So take heart fellow Gamers. Don’t be held back by a lack of cash any longer. Take the fight to the streets! And if that doesn’t help you can always endure the pleasant experience of selling your plasma twice a week. Hopefully there’s a Gamestop across the street. Until next time, game on!
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